One of the greatest joys in life is enjoying a healthy, romantic partnership. We, as humans, love to be in love. Finding the perfect romantic partner isn’t always easy, though, despite our ardent desire to do so. Fortunately, today’s digital age provides us with the ability to connect with a multitude of other people. The horizon for our love lives is unlimited.

Here are some tips to help you take control of your love life and find the right person to share your world with.

Learn to Embrace Your Own Greatness

Before you begin your search for another person, you need to treat yourself with love. Think about the things that make you special. Strive to always be your best self. Work to develop a confident attitude that is attractive to potential mates. When you are radiant because you know your worth, others will want to live in that sun. Also, there is no point in not bringing anything other than your best self into a relationship.  Far too often relationships crumble because of our own personal negative feelings of self-worth that we inadvertently put on our partner. Starting out knowing your worth, and embracing the greatness that is YOU will help alleviate the “itty-bitty-shitty-committee” that tends to take a front row seat in our minds.

Cast a Wide Net When You Begin Your Search For a Partner

Open yourself up to those who on the surface appear different from you. Consider folks from all walks of life, various nationalities and even other regions. Far too often we are picky about various insignificant things about potential partners – and while these are ok to have (we need attraction within our relationship!) they can be limiting!  However….

Look For The Spark As You Talk With Potential Suitors

The chemistry of attraction is an important part of finding love. Refuse to settle for a relationship with someone just because it makes sense on paper. You and your mate deserve the “knock out” feeling of great passion. Whether it happens in an instant or takes some time to develop, you need to have it for long-term happiness.

Go On Lots of Dates

When you find someone online or elsewhere, you need to interact with each other in a variety of settings. This allows you to test out your compatibility before you commit. Be sure to also tell those you go out with that you are dating others. Not only is this fair play, but it will make those truly interested in a relationship work hard to win you. It seems these days there is less dating than there used to be – we want exclusivity right off the hop. It’s ok not to commit right away, but once you do commit, commit.

Decide What You Want and What You Will Not Tolerate

Related blog post: Beginner’s Guide to Setting Boundaries

As you get to know the people you date, you will discover things you adore about them and what is not so attractive to you. Make the proverbial list of the traits you MUST have in a romantic partner. If there are deal breaking issues such as having children or practicing a particular religion, do not waste time with those who disagree. Don’t convince yourself that they will change their minds over time. Even if they do, they will likely resent you for it.

Go Slowly When You Find Someone You Believe Will Make a Great Partner

It’s so exciting to be in love at first, isn’t it? Do not let excitement push you into a serious romance too quickly. Enjoy the early stages of discovery as you let affection grow. Hold off on physical intimacy until you know the person is the right one for your life. Having sex early on might confuse your feelings and lead you to believe your connection is deeper than it is in reality. Don’t mesh lives, finances and living arrangements right away – these can be messy to sort out later on if it doesn’t work out.

Seek Out Other People’s View of Your Romance

It is often hard for the people involved to realistically assess a new relationship. Talk to your best, most honest and discerning friends about what they see. A fresh perspective often gives you the clarity you need to make a smart decision. Your choice of whom to share your life with is incredibly important so treat it that way. If you want an even more objective opinion, consider working with a personal coach.

Love comes when you open yourself and work for it. Selecting a romantic partner you will find happiness and fulfillment with is vitally important so you must treat it that way. Construct a well thought out strategy that will guide you to the person who will accompany you in a fantastic life.

Are they “The One”? Get couples counselling. Right Away.

Have you met The One? That’s awesome….until it isn’t. Sooner or later, something is going to come up that you disagree on. If you don’t know how to handle disagreements as a couple, they can explode into massive arguments faster than a hurricane.

It never ceases to amaze me how dentists have the concept of preventative maintenance down pat. No other health care field seems to have a grasp on this like the dental profession.  I believe that the strongest of couples are not afraid to seek a professional counsellor to help them sweat through the small stuff – so it doesn’t become big stuff. It’s a lot harder to fix a major relationship rift than prevent one from the outset.  Plus, it can help work out issues before they boil over into deal breakers.

Whether you’re married, in a relationship or single, take control of your love life with these tips! Have something to add? Please let me know your thoughts in the comments below and feel free to share your own tips for how people can take control of their love lives.